1 more day to book out :D

Finally, its almost 2 weeks! Thanks to all my friends who were there to help and console me whne I was feeling down and emo. =)

Hmm...Andrew sounded moody tonite, I think its the weather, the stress and the huge amount of laundry thats taking a toll on him.

School was really tiring this week. I have been staying back till 8 almost everyday because of the events Im organising. This is going to be the busiest and the most hectic semester of my poly life....sigh.

I have been spending my time during the past few days reading up stuff about BMT and some blogs ...and so far, I couldnt find anything appealing in the information Ive been reading so far(other than booking out)...sigh...thinking about what Andrew is goin through currently makes me worry for him....=/ The blogs I read about BMT are mainly from the NS 40 home portal. ==>http://lifestyle.ns40.sg/blog/index.php/gabriel/bookout_day/

okie...its getting late, I still need to review my portfolio and check some financial news before sleeping. Goodbye! ^^

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Place In My Heart

Music & Lyrics: Kevin Quah
Performed by Sean Wong

It doesn't matter where I come from
It doesn't matter what I do
It doesn't matter what I believe in
It doesn't matter how tough it may be

It only matters we've come through together
Closer with every page we turn
It only matters we could make it better
Reaching out to the sky

You will always have A Place in My Heart
You will always be the Spark
Every smile we share every tear we've shed
There's nothing we can't overcome

You will always have A Place in My Heart
You will always be the Spark
If I'm lost and weary I'm not worried
I know You will always be there with open arms

I'll always treasure those happy moments
I can remember all the songs
It doesn't matter I'm ordinary
It doesn't matter how different we are


It only matters we've come through together
Closer with every page we turn
It only matters we could make it better
Reaching out to the sky


You will always have A Place in My Heart
You will always be the Spark
Every smile we share every tear we've shed
There's nothing we can't overcome

You will always have A Place in My Heart
You will always be the Spark
If I'm lost and weary I'm not worried
I know You will always be there with open arms


=D *hugs* love you dear. Cant wait to see you in 24 hours time *hugs tight*

Optimism/Pessimism

Im currently experiencing a mental torture. It was just a few days back when I was telling myself everything will be ok and its only a few more days before Andrew books out. And I was thinking of what to wear when I meet him and what nice things to buy for him and where we should eat.

But somehow, I woke up today with a feeling of dread. It was suppose to be positive, but I became emo on the way to school and the negative feeling persisted the entire day. And I started thinking whether I would be able survive this tough test of our relationship. I started lamenting to myself how unlucky everything seems to be turning out and whether the outcome will be ideal as I originally thought. And I started countering every optismitic thought I had untill I fell asleep in class.

Im numb.....





I just spoke to Andrew on the phone, he couldnt really console me...sigh, I didnt expect him too...I guess, I really love him and the negative part of me is an old residual thinking of the past that surfaces occasionally when Im not in a balanced state....*sobs*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey dear, Im sorry for being pessimistic, I know I shldnt let you worry about me, but I really cant help it. I love you alot and the thought of not being able to be by your side is depressing. *hugs* I will gladly trade anything just to see you now. *hugs*

Im ok now, cant wait for this weekend! =D

~ Zero Gravity ~

~ zero gravity ~

we're neither bound by gravity or nature
we're neither governed by law or rules
we're neither accepted or unaccepted

zero gravity

we defy logic, nature and law
we love.

Goodbye PeepZ!! =)

Less then 24 hours before national service.
The countdown to either loneliness or a accomplishment is up ahead...

I've already set my resolutions, these are my goals then -

PTP
1) Slice down to less then 10 mins for my 2.4 km
2) Do 20 pull ups - easily
3) Score a high A for my Standing Broad Jump
4) Hit 55++ sit ups within 1 minute

BMT
1) Try to get in to OCS
1b - If I don't get into OCS, either try to become a PT or Guards
2) Make a hell lot of friends
3) Make sure I get 1 or 2 very close buddies

ok. I better not make too many resolutions, lest I get depressed if I can't hit all of them.

sigh... I've been berated like a hundred times for being so "enthu" to go into army... coz if I display too much "enthu-siasm" in the army, I'd most likely get labelled a freak or a sucker.

And.. yah... I'll most likely get more enemies then friends...

I don't plan to "wayang" or do anything equivalent to "sucking up", coz if the sergeant is a piss-face, I'd punch it too.

The reason I'm so enthusiastic about the army is becoz I've reached a stagnation in my gymming and swimming routines.
Stagnation meaning, there's a ceiling I can't break through.

And I've always thought that running was like one of the most boring and long winded exercises ever.

... so as expected, I never really ran much.

Which eventually took a toll on me, when I'm doing multiple circuits in the gym, or doing long distance frontcrawl dashes.

I'd find myself going out of breath too often, lacking enough concentration and energy etc etc.

The root cause? - Extremely low stamina; as reflected in my pathatic 2.4 km scores.

The army is going to change that.

Once that breakthrough is done, hopefully, I'd find enjoyment in running finally - and doing stamina training.

=/

The army has gotta help me do that.

I wanna run 21 km Standard Chartered Marathon one day.

And yes. I'm directly challenging Dominic who has held the record for countless years.

=P

heh heh heh.


I'm so going to miss everybody...
Its going to be about 3 weeks.

But I wonder if anybody will miss me too.

... I bet my blog will miss me... Coz 3 weeks will be the longest - longest - LONGEST time span I ever will have between my posts...


I dedicate my army life, finally - to the sole glory of God.
and, yeah... above all, may His light shine through me..


This is my final post for this month,






signing out,
Andrew.







______________

Its funny, when everything falls to pieces around you, you know love is there.
Seeking, finding, waiting and holding.
Thru all odds, waiting for the day of return.

I'll return, stronger then ever.
More capable of taking care of you then ever.

Wait for me, my love, my heart.
For even when the sun and the moon perish.
Our love will illuminate life itself...

*hugs*
______________

"If marriage is really the union of two souls, to be joined in holy matrimony, who then decides what defines it?"

A Christian can never say, "Heavenly Father, please bless my relationship with this guy. I know you don't approve of it, but I hope you'll join us in marital union."

Its ridiculous... Its not even funny.

=(

What is a Christian supposed to do if he's homosexual?

Resign to fate that God will never bless the relationship?

"For all have sinned and have fallen short of the Glory of God."

how can anybody ask, "God, please bless me as I rob this bank."
or
"God, please guard me as I stab this offender."


ARRGH...


*pain*

Transition.

Less then 100 hours before NS...

Sometimes it makes me wonder why I'm so enthu about leaving my friends, family and loved ones to go for somewhere unpredictable, regimental and so completely political.

I think I'm going crazy.

But I'm still not going to waver my resolve.

________


Yeah. I'm not going to they gym today, thats why I'm currently blogging.
I've achieved my goal of completely exhausting my muscles 3 days before I get into NS.

This is my last recovery phase before I enter Tekong.

I can safely say that my body has never been in better fitness condition in-my-life, before.

Ok. No excuse where I can say "I didn't train, thats why I'm like that lor..."

Of course I expect that there'll be like a hell lot of people far, FAR fitter then me. But then, I did try my best to prepare.
I'll try my best to reach the fittest standards also...

=/

sigh...

I'm just scared I'll make a single mistake that'll ruin my entire life in the army... =/

________


... I wonder how much my life is going to change...
... I know its going to be for the better, but how much?...
... I might turn for the worse... but how much worse?...


I feel bogged down so much by my ordinary life....
I really dunno how hard my transition will be like....

=/

sigh...

Army Resolutions

Its sad, that it is humanly possible that a person could be so... heartless.

Especially when he is high up in the press.

...

nvm.

***

People always ask me why I'm so eager to enter the army... which is a reasonable question, coz like 95% of the guys I know can't hate it more.

Well, it all has to do with the mindset - see?

On one hand, you can brood about this "forced slavery" or on the other, you can focus on extracting every good bit there is to absorb in the army.

The SAF is going to help me achieve 3 major goals :

1) Push me to the pinnacle of physical excellence

2) Hone my teamwork and leadership skills

3) "Regimentize" my life, in terms of discipline and order.

-

By the end of my training, I should be able to -

A) Fully understand military standards, commands and protocol

B) Do ultra intense cardio for 1 hour straight

C) Do ultra intense strength training for 1 hour straight

D) Survive in the wild, indefinitely.

-

I should also have -

i) Overcome my general fear of height

ii) Overcome my intense fear of insects

-

Yup.

I have a goal for the army, and sure as hell, I won't sit back at relax this few years.

If I have to go through hell, I'll make sure that it makes me shine.




SAF is one adventure I'm so looking forward to.

=)

Unrequited Love.

The most painful love, is unrequited love.

To watch the person hold the hands of another, from a distance.

To watch your love seal your hopes against your wishes

Your wishes against your dreams.


Why hope? When hopelessness clouds vision?
Why dream? When nightmares haunt sleep?
Why love? When pain lingers in every corner?


A wolf howls to the moon,
The animals cower in fear...
But little do they know, do they understand,
That the puppy lost his heart,
Lost his love.

The one that died within, died without.

But the one thing that goes beyond unrequited love, is knowing that you were loved once before.

Swimming discoveries. xD

Its been a long time since I posted...
I think its the longest interval since I ever posted...

I've been doing a hell lot of stuff these few... weeks.

Some of them willingly, some of them slightly less then willingly... =P


I've been teaching some people swimming. (not like I want to take on anything, but rather, they're my friends).

But staying at the pool for 6 hours in a row, can sometimes open your eyes to many stuff that people "do" in the pool.

some hilarious stuffs include -

1) A women in her mid thirties, extremely fat. Flabby fats, and bouncy fats. Floating in the lap pool. Basically, she just lies on her back and waddle around the pool, pushing herself away from the ledge and floating around the pool like a gigantic float.

2) Old men who just stand at the edge of the swimming pool doing yoga exercises.
Yes. We all know tai-chee is good for the body. But in the water, thats a totally different thing. No. Its not tough. Its hilarious.

3) Little kids screaming their heads off, "I'M DROWNING!!! I'M DROWNING!!!" When their feet is on the pool floor.

4) Lifeguards talking to various people in English, Chinese, Malay, Tamil, Thai, Bahasa Indonesia, Hokkian, Cantonese, Hakka, Hainanese... etc.
I bet that you never knew lifeguards knew so many language eh.

5) Women attempting synchronized swimming that ain't in anyway "synchronized". In fact, they look like stranded mermaids (or just a school of lost dugongs)






...zzzz

6) Swimming instructors hollering insults to their students which includes,
"WHERE IS YOUR HEAD!? WHERE IS YOUR HEAD?! YOU GOT NO HEAD RIGHT?"
"GO DEEPER! YOU SCARED DROWN IS IT?"
"BLOW HARDER!!! BLOW HARDER!!!!" (which incidentally sounds like... what it sounds like.)

The uber ridiculous thing about this farce is that the swimming instructor is actually saying this to students who are under water. Yes. Underwater. How the hell can they hear what the instructor is saying??

Author's note : To simulate sound transversing from air into water, close your mouth, hold your tongue completely still in your mouth (paralyze it if you have to), and try speaking from your stomach.

Yes. We understand what you say perfectly.



Funny people that we have at the pool, which includes 60 year old uncles wearing spongebob squarepants swimming trunks and SUNTANNING.
Like their skin aint wrinkled enough.



bzzt.



Bleah. I'm going into army soon, so I must list a few resolutions to make within this week and next week before I enter camp.

1) Find out how PTP is like
2) Sleep before 10:00 at night by next Monday. (Hardest goal)
3) Get ready my "nuclear arsenal" (I think only my family knows what I'm talking about)
4) Find a good book to read
5) Exhaust ALL my muscles 3 days before I enter
6) An uber mushy romantic day with Alvin
7) Destroy Nicholas on his birthday
8) Redye my hair black and cut it even shorter.
9) Make sure that I pass on everything to tu-di to take over me in the band once I'm gone
10) Reach 65 kg.

Yes.

ok. WEEEEE~~~

umm. I think I'm ready to go in.

Heh heh.

Uhhh... But no, its not as how RJ said. I still miss you all....

just that I'm think I'm sooo going to love the life inside army. ... I think... xD

ok. Its not just the guys.
ITS NOT JUST THE GUYS!!!!

zzzzz...

umm.. yah.
Sometimes, you just have to start every new chapter on a high note. xD